HOLA BITCHES.

Just so you know, you're more than welcome to email me with any gossip/dirt/crazy shit you may have up your sleeve...

larry_lohan@yahoo.com

send me some LOVE!

I like poop, poop likes Moorpark. Especially since they flood the farmlands with it all year. 

This town constantly smells like SHIT.

But people don't mind ever. Moorparkians love the DRAMZZZZZZZZZ. 

From what this reporter has discovered, Moorpark kids are

 always gossiping. Hence this website. We can no longer leave the gossip unattended to!

ENJOY THIS PICTURE OF A CLOWN:

doomsday in Kraproom

Question of the day: Could Moorpark get any TRASHIER???

Now look. I know I might not be the cleanest human being. I condition my hair with my neighbor's breast milk and sometimes I season my ice cream with my toe nail clippings.

BUT

nothing compares to the sadness that has struck the little town of Kraproom, California

SMART AND FINAL???

I mean. . .seriously.

Rumor has it that they are also building a Ross (dress for less) as well.

For the love of nipples! 

Could this town get any more pathetic??

We now have: Do it Center, Dollar Store, Dennys, Walgreens, Big Lots, and now

SMART AND FINAL?

Its like all the stores that keep coming in here is Trailer Park Word Vomit!

Without Cafe Firenze, we would be lost.

Thank nipples for FABIO.

omg.

He brings the only ounce of class left in this town.

Coming Soon to Kraproom: Walmart- just watch. That is when this place will be the new SIMI VALLEY!!!!!!!

LARRY LOHAN'S FUN ACTIVITY!

See if you can possibly name all of the nail salons and pizza places in Moorpark.

good luck. the winner gets to touch my sweat gland.

p.s. there are two Pizza Huts (target counts as one)

"I made this today. I am writing a children's book"

- Larry Lohan

I drink B.O. it keeps me slender

Hello there BITCHES.

Larry Lohan here, broadcasting live from my basement.

So today was a rather INTERESTING day. A lot silly behavior in Kraproom, California.

Lies, Heartbreak, Scandal.

It is like an episode from a soap opera, and I just F**King love it.

out of respect for those I am about to praise and trash, I am going to use code and not actual names. but for those of you who keep up with the word vomit of this fabulous town, then you will know what I am blabbing out.

So today is Mr. Jay got very angry. And he had every right. Apparently Mr. Jay got violated by Mr. ?. Mr. Jay almost got black mailed by Mr. Ray who wanted to spill the beans about Mr. ?

What did Mr. Jay do about Mr. Ray? HE GOT PISSED AS ALL HELL!!!!!!!! <- Mr. Jay likes those.

And Mr. Jay had every right. Because. . . . . . . .

Mr Ray:

• Is a lying little psycho.
• A hollywood star of fame huh?
• Christian Bale is your bff?

It is all crazy news. CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY!

Mr. Ray got what he deserved, he had it coming.

NEW TOPIC!

Chris Brown. What a prick. What big fat prick!! I cannot believe he could seriously beat up Rihanna.

Like honestly? Who beats the SHIT OUT OF RIAHANNA?

read this:

A source told E!: "Rihanna didn't want anyone to touch her, she was in so much pain."

Police confirmed to TMZ.com that her injuries are "horrific". According to a report on the website, police photos show serious bruises and swelling on both sides of the singer's face. Her lip was split and her nose was bloody, said the website.

"We have now confirmed there are bite marks on one of her arms and on several fingers," the website added, saying
that Rihanna claims Brown struck her with his fists.

That is some crazy stuff right there.

Get well Ri Ri. I will be praying for you when I am wearing my underwear and playing tic tac toe with myself.

- Larry Lohan

"when I grow up my boyfriend is gonna beat me senseless"

Moorpark, Land that I Love

Hello, upper East Moorparkers.

I've decided that, since such a small town manages to create so much buzz, that I'm going to start a blog documenting anything and everything that happens here in Kraproom, USA.

And since this town is known for getting BORING, I'll also be reporting on various Hollywood dramz as well.

Gotta keep my readers interested!

And if you don't read, I'll slit my wrists, you ugly cows.